Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Oldbaldguy

My Carpet Monster and Me

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

I've been trying for the past two weeks or so to open a dialog with my carpet monster.  I am perfectly happy to have a carpet monster and I am open  to trying to understand its needs and the unique contributions it makes to my little world, but we seem to lack an acceptable level of shared understanding, our lives being so different and all.  I come and go as I please, with shoes and without, and am not above spilling, scuffing, scraping and grinding unsavory things into my carpet monster with complete indifference.  It, on the other hand, must stay where I put it, suffer a multitude of indignities without complaint because it has no voice and, let's face it, its view of the world never changes.  Still, you'd think we could reach a middle ground since we share the same space and air and love of modelling, but no.  My carpet monster delights in catching parts I drop from my bench before throwing them a distance and direction that violate the common laws of physics.   The number of intimate hours I've spent on my belly, cheek to cheek with my carpet monster, flashlight in hand, as it leads me on a merry and fruitless chase would astound the world.  In all fairness, sometimes it gives up before I do and lets me win, but lately the parts disappear forever into its fibrous innards, leaving no trace, not even telltale plastic pellets in its carpet monster poop.  So what is it doing?  Is it trying to accumulate enough bits and pieces to build a kit of its own?  Lord knows, I've dropped enough parts and spilled enough glue and paint that it could, but I think there is something more nefarious afoot here.  I think it has come to realize that it has a degree of power over me because it knows the secrets of where these bits are but I never will; that it knows it can live in my age-addled brain rent free for all my days simply because we both know that my model, although finished, is not complete; that it is playing some sort of carpet monster chess without telling me the rules.  Whatever the reason, it seems to be winning.  But I know something my carpet monster doesn't:  Nothing lasts forever.  It can be replaced with something more compliant and cooperative and find itself in a dumpster somewhere in the rain, living with flies and rats and such.  Ha!  How would you like that, Mr Carpet Monster??  Would you like that?  Being all soggy and gross and wadded up in a place that has never even heard of a vacuum cleaner??  I like to think I am bigger than that but you should know, I've already met a better looking, more model friendly fake wood floor and we're talking about maybe making a future together but I'd rather not go there if we don't have to.  I like you Mr Carpet Monster; you keep my feet warm and I can scrunch you with my toes.  Just give me my parts back and maybe we can talk about it.

Edited by Oldbaldguy
grammar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you have a wife?  I lost a clear wingtip lens for my Revell George in the carpet and I looked for 15 minutes.  Wife asks what I'm looking for, so I tell her a small triangular piece of clear plastic, aka a wing tip lens.  She asks where it could have gone and by now of course I'm all frustrated and I told her "It could be ANYWHERE!"  Thirty seconds later she says, "Is this it?"

Me, all humble-like, "Yes Dear...Thank You."

So, I could finish my George.

This works out this way a lot with "lost" stuff.

And I like carpet too, normally.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The carpet in my new  hobby room is “very short nap”. A pet friendly cleanable type.   This plus I installed battery LED lights under the bench reveals most errant parts.  Something drops and  the lights usually cause joy.  There is no escape so far.  The key also is to pick up all plastic bits that missed the trash can.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just do not use carpet but linoleum or wood and you will solve such problems! Because of my wife allergies, we prohibited carpet use in our current house and since we moved in, I do not remember when I definitely lost a kit part! When I was in an appartment with carpet, I used a vacuum cleaner with an old stocking put on the end and this worked quite well. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, thierry laurent said:

Just do not use carpet but linoleum or wood and you will solve such problems! 

 

I have laminate flooring. It serves well to bounce parts even further away

 

10 hours ago, LSP_K2 said:

I think these type of carpets, are actually just a thinly disguised gateway to another dimension, one that's chock full of hobby parts, ball point pens and the like.

 

My theory is underneath the workbench is another aspect of L-space , and all the spaces underneath work benches connect

 

Richard

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do not be fooled by the God of Wooden Floors!

 

I have had carpet, marble and wooden flooring underneath my build space at various times. It doesn't matter. Carpet, Wood, Marble, Stone, it's all the same monster with a different skin.

 

I have noticed that prolonged exposure to the x-monster (insert floor type to suit) has also caused my hair to fall out, lose my eyesight and stolen my ability to use an airbrush properly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We could be onto something important here. Maybe this is the combination of General Relativity and Quantum physics

 

After all, the space under the workbench is large, but the parts that get lost are very very small...

 

Richard

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The carpet monster is a flat-earther. Others of its ilk are as well. While the seduction of the "Wood Floor" may entice, beware the beguiling "Beveled edge Wood Floor". For there is where Dust resides, and it can trap small parts and indeed PE shall be hidden away to its doom.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...