Well, let me tell you how we did it in Vulgaria one day during War 2. Our chief engineer, Herr Doktor Heinrich von Schtinkfinger, LS/MFT, decided one day that it would save a lot of construction and measuring time if we merely put one very large rivet in the middle of each wing. So we did it to the Vulgarian StuporJunkor Ju-69z, which was a twin engine Stuka that has been stolen from the Luftwaffe and modified in our underground labs and factories.
Shortly thereafter our chief test pilot, CaptainLieutenant Morris Mishigas, loaded the plane with two of the deadly and oulawed cabbage gas bombs and attacked the Noxies who were attempting to breach our defenses in section 17. In the process a Noxie Me-109 attempted to defend the assault troops and attacked our Ju-69z StuporJunkor .
In trying to evade the streams of machine gun and cannon bullets flying at our StuporJunkor Captain- Lieutenant Mishigas promptly fainted from fright and thereby forced the plane into a violent spin. The spin so overstressed the two large, heavy rivets so much that they popped off the wings. This lightened the aircraft to such an extent that it recovered from the spin, and soaring over the attacking Me-109 forced its wings to break off, thus forcing the Noxie to crash into Lake Tuchis. The violently spinning CapainLieutenant Mishigas's inert body was forced against the bomb release levers, releasing the two Cabbage Gas bombs, which subsequently fell into the attacking Noxi troops. These soldiers were immediately rendered helpless by the odor of the noxious gases and fell into a deep swoon.
CaptainLieutenant Mishigas recovered at this point and flew his plane back to the base, where he was hailed a hero, immediately promoted to the rank of ColonelLieutenant and given a permanent desk job.
The Noxie troops, including the pilot of the Me-109 who was fished out of the lake, were captured and taken to the underlake hospital where they recovered physically and were brainwashed to settle in Vulgaria and take on productive trades and professions in our fair country.
The two giant rivets that fell out of the wings made such a splash in the lake you wouldn't believe in a million years!
© Stephen Auslender
P.S. If you wish to know more about that hidden Bulgarian country known as Vulgaria, you can purchase a copy of my novel, The Streamlined Locomotive, which is available on Kindle for a mere 99 cents (USD). The book is also available in many other countries through Kindle.
Try it, you'll like it. Mikey likes it.